What I Tell Clients About Divorce

The decision to divorce is never easy. The odds are that you don’t know how to handle it and, even if you did, the emotions and context won’t allow you to see the forest through the trees. It can be a painful experience that leaves scars upon your soul, but it doesn’t have to be. An effective mediation with mediation friendly attorneys can help you through this. If you’ve chosen, or the court has ordered, mediation, the best thing you can do is be prepared for the process. Every divorce case is different. Your case is its own and you can’t compare it. Your advocate lawyer will help you evaluate your own situation and give very personalized advice. It is essential that you connect. As both a mediator and a divorce attorney, this is what I tell clients about divorce:
 
1. It Will Be Stressful. If you’ve so far dodged the bullet of litigation, you are among the fortunate. That said, having to sit at a table to negotiate, speak to and hopefully agree on every aspect of your former marital life while being split up is not fun or easy. So you will want to make sure that the mediator creates a comfortable environment and your lawyer gives you a good idea of what is ahead. In some cases, your lawyer will be by your side in each session. In others, you may meet with just your ex-spouse and the mediator. There is no right or wrong. 
 
2. Nobody Can Resolve a Divorce Better Than You. As full of rage and hurt as two people on the brink of uncoupling are, it is a known fact that a judge or an arbiter or anyone else can’t possibly understand the relationship between you and your soon to be ex as well as you can. It is only natural then that you should be the ones negotiating the agreement rather than having one imposed on you by someone else. Yes, it isn’t easy to communicate all the time with someone you are about to be forever without, but you can do this!
 
3. You Will Be in Control. Not being in court has its perks. You control it, not the attorney or the judge.  You can get the results that work best for you both and your family. 

If you are interested in mediation or are thinking about needing representation in your divorce, or even if you are currently in mediation and see the need for an advocate, please feel free to contact me, it would be my honor to help.  I can and I will.